she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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