it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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