she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?