Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....