everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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