happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
