I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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