why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
