She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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