Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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