If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
