I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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