On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
