i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
