She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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