I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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