we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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