We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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