i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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