I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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