I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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