left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
