mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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