I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Everclear isn't food dammit
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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