I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
