I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
