real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
