called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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