so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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