Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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