May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
