Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
