he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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