i just made my gag reflex go away.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i now understand why vodka
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
