Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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