Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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