I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
