My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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