Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
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Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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