i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
