I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
