these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's official drugs can't kill me
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I will be naked everywhere
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
