now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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