Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Do you still have your period?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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