how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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