Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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