I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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