Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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