I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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