you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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