what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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