She's JV to your varsity
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
