From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
