So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
