Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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