I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize