So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
