was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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