just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
