There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
