Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
